"Because a person smiles all the time doesn't mean their life is perfect.
That smile is a symbol of hope and strength."
Don't Judge a Book By It's Cover
There are those that recognize my name, Robbin Young, because of my affiliation with Playboy (18 USA & International Playboy Magazine pictorials), winner of Playboy's 'Search For a James Bond Girl' contest, and my few roles as an SAG-AFTRA TV / Film actress. In the 80's, I lived in Los Angeles for 3 years, dated numerous celebrities, and was engaged to Dr. Jerry Buss (owner of the Lakers). I was a guest at the Playboy Mansion, 24/7. I then moved back to my hometown in South Florida, where I met a wonderful man and got married.
Now, my story begins...a synopsis of my life, the past 24 years, since divorcing and relocating to Las Vegas, Nevada.
I was a single multi-millionaire from 1997-2008, after owning and operating ski resorts, with my (now) ex-husband in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. And, NO, I did not ask for half of everything when we were divorcing. Instead, I fired my attorney (who would have made the most money in the divorce) and called my husband and said, "Give me enough money so I don't have to work the rest of my life. " I was tired from five years of work, without a day off, and I wanted to retire. He was amazed by my lack of greed, and I walked away with over 5 million dollars. Sadly, we never had children. It would have been wonderful to have more than money when remembering our years together as a loving couple.
I then began dating a man who lived in Las Vegas, and life was fun. No, more than fun...it was fantastic! I was independently wealthy, and he had huge wealth. We became engaged, traveled, and had sex like rabbits. He made me feel 'special' because he showered me with love and attention. For the first time in years, I was happy and laughed, and I became a sensual woman. I felt like a sunflower with my head raised to the sky...warm, bright, and pretty. Life was perfect, until I realized he had MANY other girlfriends, which I would have understood and accepted, IF he'd been upfront and honest about it...but, unfortunately, he wasn't. So, I looked the other way...but after three years of lies, I walked away. Thus, a wall went up around my heart...No One Would Ever Hurt Me, Again!
Deciding to make Vegas my home, I purchased a large estate in a guard-gated community, drove a Ferrari (which I called my 'man magnet'), and I became an Internet dater. Mostly...they were just young and fun, friends with benefits. I felt safe dating younger men, as there was less of a risk they would break through my wall.
I became actively involved in local charity events and donated time and money to the Cancer, Hospice, Humane Society, and Firefighter's Foundations. I traveled the world, by myself, making new and dear friends along the way. Life was perfect, but, in a sad and dysfunctional way. I was not bitter, but instead, I had lost my self-esteem...thinking if men paid attention and desired me, I was special. I soon learned, Money Does Buy Happiness...But, NOT Love!
Unfortunately, in 2008, I became financially insolvent. No money, no home, I learned a valuable lesson...whom my friends, weren't. The fake friends disappeared, quickly, but my true friends stand by me...no matter what decisions I make in life to survive. They are non-judgmental and thus, my friends for life. After trying to recoup my losses the past 13 years, I'm unable to do so and have now completed bankruptcy. So, I have no money or assets...but, I am a survivor and will get through this, as it's just another challenge in my life to overcome. Believe me, instead of wealth, I'd much prefer if my parents were alive so they would love and cuddle me, like they always did...I miss them, and their unconditional love!
And, YES, the past 13 years of my life have been at times, almost too much to bear. The things I've been put through, are beyond a normal person's comprehension. I thank God my parents instilled the faith of Christianity in my life...so no matter what gets thrown at me, I may want to die for (one minute) but then a calmness comes over me and I think rationally. It's as though I suddenly feel as if someone has their arms around me, holding me and making me feel safe...Of course, it's my Savior embracing me.
I'm a good person and certainly don't deserve the mental and physical stress I'm being put through, but, I never question "Why?" I know God has a special plan for me and what I'm experiencing and having to endure, is all part of the 'Master Plan.' As much crap that's thrown at me, I still have a positive outlook on life and love for all mankind, and I hope to share my positive energy with the world by someday becoming an author and motivational speaker.
Through all the adversity in my life the past 13 years, I've never taken anti-depressants, never been drunk, never used illegal drugs. Why? Because the nights my stomach growls with hunger pains, when sadness overwhelms me and I cry myself to sleep, when I feel there is no hope...I want to remember EXACTLY how I feel and not be numb with chemicals. How else can I motivate others to HOLD ON, TO NEVER GIVE UP, TO BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES, if I haven't felt the highs and lows of what I'm going through.
My faith in God and my passion for life lifts my spirits and gives me hope, and without a doubt...I will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes and once again soar the skies!
I'm a fiercely independent, proud woman, and do NOT want sympathy. I merely want to share my story and feelings with others to motivate and remind them:
THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL, MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT!
GOD GIVES HIS HARDEST BATTLES TO HIS STRONGEST SOLDIERS!
Praise the Lord, I'm proud to share this glorious news...
May 20, 2018, I became Ordained Minister, Reverend Robbin Young.
By: Robbin Young ©